Mural on Coney Island

Mural on Coney Island, originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

I'm back! Actually, I never left; have just been sorely neglecting my blog once again. We've had a very busy summer of performing, visiting friends in NY, & working. J took this picture of me during our August NY trip - we hadn't been to Coney Island in ages & were a little concerned about how the place might look post-renovation. Were we riding the subway for an hour only to find ourselves in a corporate-looking theme park? Although we were very disappointed to see that the wonderful Astroland entrance (complete with fabulous 50's faux rocketship) is gone, for the most part, the boardwalk & amusement areas still have a funky retro feel. The beach was packed with people of all ages, races, styles - hip-hop, preppy, vintage, you name it. We people-watched, listened to live music, ate a decadent lunch at Nathan's, & rode the Cyclone & the Wonder Wheel before making our way back to Manhattan. It's great when places, like people, can change & evolve without losing their spirit. Happy end of summer, all.

Men do make passes at retro divas who wear glasses.

Men do make passes at retro divas who wear glasses., originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

I've needed reading glasses since middle school, mostly due to astigmatism. If I read or surf the 'net for long without them, I will get a blinding headache - literally. Since 2007, I've basically needed the things all the time to avoid that fate, although I'm still able to go onstage (I do theater, opera, & cabaret performances) or attend a dressy event for a few hours sans specs. If that changes as I age, I will seriously consider Lasik. Some friends have urged me to get contacts, but the idea of sticking little things in my eyes every day makes me queasy. Sounds silly coming from someone with two tattoos, but it's true!

Glasses can be horribly expensive, which is one reason I've held off on replacing my beloved Bellagios (the rhinestone-trimmed frames I'm wearing in many of my posts.) At $250 for a complete pair, they're hardly at the highest eyewear price point - I understand frames alone can cost $1500 or more if one is wealthy & a bit insane - but I've just been finding other things to spend my money on lately (more vintage dresses from eBay & Etsy. Oops.) Still, as it had been two years since my last eye exam, I recently dragged myself to the optometrist, knowing full well that I'd end up ordering new glasses even if my vision hadn't changed substantially, which it hasn't - hooray!

While the Bellagios were on order, I found the fabulous cat-eye specs I'm wearing in this pic on eyebuydirect. I'd taken care to obtain a copy pf my prescription from the optometrist's office, & with that at hand, I was able to order these babies for $49.95, lenses & all. They fit well, do their job, medically speaking, & I absolutely love how they look! I am finding that the over-the-top shape works best with simpler silhouettes, so my more outrageous outfits may still call for the (new) Bellagios, which have arrived & are also wonderful. I love having a wardrobe in which blinged-out eyewear can pass for subtle.

NY skyline skirt detail

NY skyline skirt detail, originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

I just had to add a detail pic of today's find. Check out the Chrysler Building at top left!

A diva can dream, can't she?

A diva can dream, can't she?, originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

Last week was pretty weird. First we had an earthquake, then the entire eastern seaboard anxiously awaited the arrival of Hurricane Irene. I'm pleased to say J & I only lost power for about 30 minutes, & overnight at that. Many of our friends & colleagues weren't so lucky. Our sun porch roof also leaked a bit. but it's been known to do that in far smaller storms.

In the midst of Mother Nature's drama, I paid 3 visits to the Baltimore Summer Antiques Fair. I saw lots of friends, including some European dealers I only get to chat with once a year, & of course I had a chance to ogle all sorts of fabulous old stuff. At this point, our house is pretty well-stocked with furniture, china, glassware, etc, although you'll never catch me admitting that around J ("But we don't have *green* wineglasses yet, honey!") I'm still on a budget, too. So, the show was primarily a social event/learning opportunity for me, as it has been in some years past. I've been attending this temptation-packed show for over 15 years & have learned to set my budget before leaving the house. If there's nothing truly amazing in my price range, I leave empty-handed.

Enough maturity, sense, & good financial judgment for now. Time for a trip to Fantasyland. In this pic, I am wearing the most amazing necklace I have ever seen. I often go for elaborate designs - think Moderne pieces from the 1940's or delicate-but-not-cutesy Deco filigree - but here is photographic proof that simplicity need not be bland. Not if you have big enough rocks, anyway. I can't even remember the total carat weight, but yes, those are diamonds - big ones - all the way around my neck. They're set in gold topped with sterling silver, which was common practice before white gold & platinum came into use. The necklace dates from the Victorian era & I would love to know who has owned it over the years. It's obviously been lovingly cared for, & who wouldn't treat such a spectacular piece like the work of art it is? I hung out at this booth for a long, long time - two days in a row - just so I could enjoy the sensation of having all this gorgeousness around my neck. Okay, the fact that the dealer was hot & all of his merchandise was spectacular didn't hurt, either. I think he actually believed that J & I were going to buy this fabulous bit of bling, which is too hilarious for words given its price tag: $130,000, a/k/a more than we currently owe on our house. Yes, you read that correctly. Most reluctantly, we gave the necklace back to the jeweler.

I know there are people who love to moralize about expensive wearables, especially the kind that sparkle. "There are people starving", "No one NEEDS that sort of thing", blah blah blah. That's very true, but do most of us *need* our of-the-moment tech gadgets, super-duper coffee makers, pricey jeans, or "good" bags? Of course not. We buy them because we like them. If J & I had the wherewithal, this necklace would have been mine in a second. We don't. We never will. We're both perfectly okay with that. There's more to life than obsessing over material things you'll never be able to own. Cool stuff enhances life - a lot! - but it won't make up for being in a career you hate or a soul-crushing relationship just to have a certain amount of purchasing power. Leave that to the Joneses & enjoy your life.

Deco Etc's booth at the 2011 Baltimore Summer Antiques Show

Deco Etc's booth at the 2011 Baltimore Summer Antiques Show, originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

It's that time of year again. The Baltimore Summer Antiques Show is going on through Sunday at the Baltimore Convention Center. I've been going to this show for over 15 years & jokingly (?) refer to it as a religious holiday. If you are even the least bit interested in antiques, regardless of period, & can get to this event, you must. All of the "usual" stuff is available: jewelry, handbags, china, silver, furniture, etc., but you can also find super-binoculars that came off of the Berlin Wall & a US Navy ship, an actual lobster cast in nickel, & other fabulous oddities. The dealers at this show tend to be fun people who really know their stuff, so it's easy to spend half an hour or more chatting at one booth.

I cruised the show for about four hours last night & didn't see half of it, even at a rapid pace, so am going back today & tomorrow (have to work Sunday, or I'd probably go then, too!) Favorite booths this far: Deco Etc., Frank's Specialties, Jo & Olly, Daniels Antiques, Deco 2 Midcentury, Bridges Over Time, & Jane Fletcher. And now, if you'll excuse me, I must get dressed & head for the show!

Outfit for train to NY, 8-12-11

Outfit for train to NY, 8-12-11, originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

I'll begin today's post with a quote - quite possibly the most brilliant fashion-related quote I've ever read: "A dash of eccentric glamour gives you the power to keep the wrong kind of men away." - Isabel Toledo

Isabel Toledo is a Cuban-American fashion designer who has dressed First Lady Michelle Obama, among many others. I've admired Ms. Toledo's work for some time, & having stumbled across the above quote on Facebook this morning, I have a newfound respect for her attitude toward life & relationships as well.

As a society, we invest clothes & accessories with tremendous meaning. We're constantly told "what not to wear" in various situations - to job interviews, on special occasions, & especially when trying to attract a partner. In some ways, it seems, the mating game has even stricter rules of attire than the office. I can't count the number of how-to-dress-for-a-date articles I've skimmed online. Some are aimed at men, but the vast majority are directed toward women. According to pretty much every one of them, my personal style should be a one-way ticket to eternally single, crazy cat lady status. I wear intense lipstick (usually red or deep pink), I almost never don jeans, I have to wear glasses most of the time (okay, I'm pondering Lasik; not sure I could do contacts. I have two tattoos & sat through both inkings like a trouper, but the idea of sticking little things in my eyes every day makes me a bit queasy.) I wear vintage on a regular basis & have recently begun rebuilding my hat collection. To top off all of that, I'm 41 & short, but am I miserable & alone? Nope. I'm married to a hunk who adores my style & is a very natty, retro-fabulous dresser in his own right. According to those articles, the way I look should keep me right out of the workforce, too, but I've been at my current job for almost 18 years. Granted, I work for a nonprofit arts organization, but I have a great gig at which dressing pretty much as I please is but one of many perks.

I'm both fascinated & repelled by the messages popular culture sends about fashion. The one that makes me cringe most, however, is the myth of the woman who drastically changes her appearance to please a man. This one just won't die; it's been a theme in countless movies over the years ("Grease", "Rear Window", & "Pretty in Pink", to name only a few.) I have yet to see a single film in which a man gets a makeover to attract a woman or improve his current relationship.

Have I had guys try to make me over? Oh, yes. One particular incident stands out in my mind. Back in the early 90's, I was planning a trip to North Carolina to visit a guy I was in a long-distance relationship with. He was a corporate type, & just before my trip, he expressed a desire to buy me some polo shirts & khakis, explaining that he was concerned about me being "too warm" in my floaty, Natalie-Merchant-esque chiffon dresses (hey, I said it was the early 90's!) in the southern heat. More to the point: he didn't want his friends to see how I really dressed. Next, please.

Obviously, he wasn't the right guy for me. We didn't fit, not only in terms of fashion, but in many other ways (political & religious views, desire - or lack thereof - for children, etc.) He wasn't a bad guy - he helped me through one of the worst times in my life, & we did have a lot in common intellectually. We just weren't compatible for the long haul.

So, quirky girls (& guys) of the world, if you happen to read one of those makeover articles or get dire warnings about the damage your style will do to your life, consider the source & take it with a grain of salt. You may, in fact, be helping yourself to stay out of the wrong relationships, which gives you more time & energy for the right ones!

Victor Costa "Commedia dell'arte" dress

Victor Costa "Commedia dell'arte" dress, originally uploaded by retrogemkitty7.

Up, up & away... when I first found this vintage Victor Costa dress in a local thrift store, I called it the "Hot Air Balloon" dress because it has such pouffy sleeves. I also had a slight fear that it might make me look like said aircraft, but was so in love with the thing that I bought it anyway. Victor Costa dresses are beautifully constructed & with the exception of a long velvet gown that had to be chopped off at the bottom due to my short stature, I've never had to alter one. No wonder VC has been my go-to brand for special occasion dresses for years.

I recently wore this to opening night (er, day) of a play that my husband is in. The theater has a large Orthodox Jewish clientele, so all their shows are staged according to that culture's standards of modesty, which means that J has had to learn a few "new" (to him) rules of conduct during the rehearsal & performance process. One that's been rather difficult for him: no touching between unmarried (or otherwise very closely related) men & women. J & I are both huggers from way back, as are most secular theater people, but even innocently embracing a female co-star would be extremely inappropriate in this context, so he's contented himself with verbal congratulations. When in Rome, right? The show is great - brilliant script & wonderful cast - & has been a learning experience for both of us. I wore this dress to the show partly because I love it, but also due to a desire to be at least somewhat respectful of my environment. I have plenty of chances to wear sleeveless, spaghetti strap, & strapless things; didn't feel the need to stick a lot of skin (& some ink) in people's faces that day.

Which got me thinking, because I usually bristle at words like "modesty", so I went online & began researching Orthodox Judaism. I found a lot of very interesting information about the faith & its practices, especially on www.jewinthecity.com., a site created by Allison Josephs, who began to take an interest in Orthodox Judaism as a teenager. Ms. Josephs is a very talented & persuasive writer, & the videos on her site are hilarious. I can't say I agree with everything I read on her site, but I have issues with almost every faith due to my personal beliefs (childfree by choice, staunchly pro-gay rights... you get the idea.) That said, I have tremendous respect for the strength of her convictions & her willingness to live by them, even when it's not easy. Oh, & by the way, Orthodox Judaism has high standards of modesty for men as well as for women, both in dress & behavior. To me, that makes it quite different from certain other cultures (hello, mainstream America) in which women, or even very young girls, are expected to show lots of skin, but demonized if they actually express their physical desires, yet men can do as they please.